I sometimes feel like a fake runner. It would not surprise me if I wandered onto letsrun.com and someone started a whole thread on me not being a “real” runner not that I have falsified results or cheated during races. I find myself speaking in past tense about my running like “I ran in college” or “I ran a marathon” not “I’m training for a half marathon”. It is just that when I look in the mirror, I don’t see my runner self. This all sounds so terribly depressing.
I get frustrated with these thoughts. Every women can be a runner as along as you run. I think these negative thoughts come from some self imposed rules I had about being a “real runner”.
First, I believed if you didn’t run six days a week you, you weren’t a “real runner”. Often, I would get seven. Now, I am lucky to get five and it makes me feel like my training isn’t serious.
Second, racing is important. In college and high school, I raced almost every weekend (though racing was also free back then). Now, it takes planning to schedule a racing calendar and I am lucky to race every two months or so.
Lastly, I have a sinking feeling that I’m just not use to my post college running body. I’ve put on some weight (I look much healthier) and I actually have curves. I like my body but it isn’t what it looked like when I was training my hardest.
I’m starting to adjust my outlook and starting to realize that I am a real runner. Have you ever felt like a phony?