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What Motivates Me

There is one major aspect in my life that motivates me to do what I do. It takes in to perspective the meaning behind the saying, ‘running is my drug’.  In November of 2011, my Grandmother passed away from the horrific disease of Alzheimer’s. This disease shattered the hearts of everyone that was close to her as she slowly forgot who the ones were that loved her. At this time I was attending Grand Valley State University, discovering who I was and living the college dream. However, it was 190 miles away from the women who helped raise me. The pain I felt as I was alone in my dorm room, grieving the news that my Grandma was soon going to leave us, was unbearable.  They say it takes a tragic event to trigger it. My hands began to turn blue. My heart would beat through my chest. Intense pain would strike, making me immobile. To me, I thought it was the process of grieving, something normal.

There came a point where I could no long function properly in society, transfer student at Oakland University, rooming with a best friend, and friends on either side on the floor, I had it all. That’s what I continued to tell myself. I was not able to communicate with friends without worry; every morning was a struggle to leave dressed in the millionth outfit I tried on. Anxiety and Reynaud’s disease were ruling my life. Mid 2012 I was prescribed an anxiety medicine to help relieve me of my all consuming symptoms. My life was beginning to feel ‘normal’ again, I was able to spend time with friends and focus on my future. At the end of 2012, one friend suggested that we all run in the Jingle Bell 5k that was being held in New Baltimore, Michigan. I was a runner in high school and I would casually run at the recreation center on campus, so I thought this would be a great idea. This race was the beginning of my drug use. Running saved my life. Since then I have had limited anxiety symptoms, running the races gave me more satisfaction than I could ever imagine. And I was good at it. The beginning of this year I had a major setback in my road to success. I took an unconscious break from running which I believe led to the depression I slowly fell captive to. Depression took control and I stopped living my life. I was in the lowest place of life. Spring of 2014 was where I made a promise to myself, I will never stop running.  I have ran several 5k and 10k races so far this year leading up to my half marathon in October. Running makes me feel free, it makes me feel good about myself and have a sense of accomplishment. I run for myself to show that I can do what I set my mind to.

I want to be able to give back to what running did for me. I want to be able to give input to what makes me feel good as I run UR sports wear.